How to ​Change Your Beliefs about Yourself

It may seem like there is no "magic" to this exercise. That would be one way to look at it. 

Another way to look at it would be that there is magic - magic in its own time, and in your own ability to transform yourself through consciously applied effort. Magic is, in some way, a skill. Do you think David Blaine, David Copperfield, Harry Houdini, Harry Blackstone Jr, Cris Angel, or other magicians were blessed at birth with superhuman powers? Or is it more likely that they learned, honed, and demonstrated a skill?

​You can use your conscious mind and its logic to transform itself - which is actually awe-inspiring, if you think about it. Your own brain is able to change at any age (see this post for more on that) because of what you do and think. It comes down to whether you are willing to create that change - over time, through applied effort. In the exercise below, which is adapted by me, very CBT-based, but mostly taken from an old exercise by J Roberts, you will learn, hone, and demonstrate the skill of changing your beliefs about yourself. 
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Step One. Start with a negative belief (you don't want to change a positive one, right?). Some examples: I'm unworthy, invisible, don't matter, not enough, a problem, unloved, weak, etc. If you really don't know what you believe about yourself, pick one of these that rings true or that you could see believing about yourself.

If you discover that you feel unworthy, for example, you may have tried simply to apply a more positive belief over that one - and found that alone didn't always work. In this exercise, you must first discover the reasons for your stubborn beliefs. You can begin by doing the following: a) Write down your feelings about yourself. attempting to be perfectly honest; b) Examine what you have written; and c) Realize that a set of beliefs is involved, not an objective reality.

Step Two. Then you must challenge these beliefs a little. For example, start by acknowledging that there IS a difference between believing that you are unworthy and being, in fact, an unworthy person. No one is an unworthy person, plain and simple. If a friend came to you with the same list of "defects" (beliefs), you would encourage them to challenge these things. It's only fair to do the same for yourself.  See this page for a list of more questions, known as Socratic questions.
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Step Three.  Now, write a list of your abilities and accomplishments. These should include such things as getting along well with others, taking care of yourself or others when sick, being good with plants or animals, being a good carpenter or cook or poet - any talent of achievement should be noted honestly, as if you were a good friend helping you to write your list. Again, you do not need "objective proof."  We're not scientists or lawyers here. Science and facts are necessary in the laboratory or court room, but not here. 

That's it! These are all the steps. Remembering how I said it takes time and effort, you may ask, What's next? Good question. Well, you know how the shampoo bottle says: Lather - rinse - repeat - ? Now it's your job to: Identify the negative belief - challenge it (this can be with logic, Socratic questions like some of the examples above, or with positive affirmations) - and repeat . . . and repeat . . . and repeat. After all, this is exactly how those negative thoughts got turned into what you believe to be true - you said them over and over again, until you forgot they were just thoughts you kept thinking, and NOT facts.  

There is no human being alive who does not have the ability to control and choose their thoughts in his or her own way. There is no human being who does not have achievements and excellent characteristics. You are a human being, so you are no exception. If you follow these instructions you will find out that you are indeed a worthy individual with many fine and wonderful qualities. 

If you allow yourself to be more and more aware of your own beliefs, you can work with them. It is
silly to try to fight what you think of as negative beliefs, or to be frightened of them. They are not
mysterious. They may even be there to help you, as you may find that many served good purposes at one time. They simply became overemphasized, unnecessarily repeated. Now they need you in order to have the light shine on them, so they can be restructured or removed, not denied.