I don't know about you, but I've been hearing therapy jokes since I was a kid. That's all well and good, and I get it, I really do. When I would see a character in a movie about to get really mad, take a deep breath, and go to their "happy place," I snickered and phfft'ed. I joked with friends about Al Franken's SNL character "Stuart Smalley" ("I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and - doggonit - people like me,"), joked about anyone trying to get a sense of peace who dared to sit cross-legged, their thumb and forefingers together, chanting, "Ommm."
As a therapist, I can now see how these jokes minimize the therapeutic effect of some actual coping strategies and really turn people off to simple things that might work for them. For example, in doing a therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), one of the preparations for trauma processing is a resource called "calm, safe place." Yep, you guessed it: It's going to your happy place. In the EMDR version, however, guided eye movements are involved as the client imagines a place with as many sensations possible that makes them feel calm and safe, and then use this later to counteract many of life's little annoyances.
Should we throw out these simple strategies when they seem like tired cliche`s? I don't think we could, even if we wanted to. There are very practical reasons why things like deep breathing, affirmations, and visualization work.
Deep breathing. I wouldn't advise foregoing a deep breath every now and then. In fact, this article on MindBodyGreen provides five very practical reasons and concrete effects from deep breathing. This includes improving fat loss by oxygenating our cells, helping the lymphatic system remove toxins, and easing pain and increasing relaxation through the release of endorphins. And this article on Selfication talks about how our shallow, tense breathing habits can really mess up our body functions - constricting blood vessels and airways, unbalancing the nervous system, and decreasing our overall energy. It's easy to forget how important breathing is, especially because we mostly rely on doing it unconsciously, but I always appreciate reminders of just how vital it is for mental health, not just, well, life itself.
Affirmations. Bringing it back to our non-therapist friend Stuart Smalley, affirmations are quite helpful - and theatrically portrayed as totally ridiculous. We use negative affirmations all the time via our internal mind's anxious chatter: I'm such an idiot. My life sucks. I hate my body. So we need to be aware of this and counteract these with positive statements, because we get what we concentrate and focus upon. To illustrate this, think about how often you find things you aren't looking for versus finding things you are looking for. Lost your keys in the morning before work? Can't find your wallet? Well, you're probably not going to have a lot of luck finding them if you never try. Same goes for affirmations: if you make a point of naming the positive aspects of yourself and others, even if they are just potential aspects, you're much more likely to find them.
Visualization. This can be more than a "happy place." There are many guided visualizations (or guided imagery) on YouTube that you can follow for many purposes, such as insomnia, quitting smoking, relaxation, or self-esteem. Some I like and have listened to include the following channels: Jason Stephenson, Michael Sealey, and YouAreCreators. Inner Health Studio is a website providing free scripts for meditation on a variety of subjects, mostly for relaxation, but they also include a nightmare reprogramming script which is a very good technique for stopping recurring bad dreams. Read the scripts in your own voice into your phone or computer voice recorder and play whenever needed.
I hope you find something helpful in the above links - if not, keep looking for something that helps you do your thing.
And as always, contact a therapist or helpcenter like this, this or this if you are in crisis and need personal help right away.
I am Lisa and I believe we create our reality. I hope to help empower people to create more mindfully, be kind to oneself and others including animals and the environment, and just generally feel better.